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Friday, July 18, 2008
Excuse Me, is That Your Funding There?
Why yes, yes it is. Thank-you very much!
It's been a long, seemingly endless wait, but the funding is in. Okay, so now, we've got money, but for what? Well, we have a lease agreement to arrange and sign... that's really the next step.
And then?
Then we build.
Build what?
It.
What is "it?"
The thing I've been working on opening all this time. It's exciting, we've got the start-up capital, and investors who've committed funds. It was actually a tough process, though. Approaching a bank during this economy was the rather comical part. It went a little like this:
"Hello loan officer."
"Is it safe?"
"Um... yes, it's just me."
"No, but is it safe?"
"Yes, I'm just here to apply for a loan."
"Oh god, here we go again."
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing... I'd be happy to help you. Please tell me about your second home."
"I... I don't have a second home."
"Tell me about your house then, the one you own."
"Oh, well, I'm actually between ownerships at the moment."
"You're homeless?"
"No, I'm renting."
"And tell me about your multi-million dollar yacht."
"I don't have a multi-million dollar yacht."
"Okay, so tell me about your existing multi-million dollar corporation which has been profitable for two years."
"Um, I don't think you understand here... I'm looking for a loan. To start a small business. Is this the right office?"
"Yes, indeed, you've come to the small business loan office, and I am a small business loan officer. I help those in need obtain loans to start up their small business."
"Okay, I was getting confused with all the talk about the houses and yachts and existing corporations talk. I would like to obtain a loan to start my small business."
"Okay, let me review your situation: You neither have a second, nor a first home to offer as collateral, you are yachtless, and have not owned a successful business for which you are looking to get a loan for."
"That's right, and I sold my house, right before real estate prices dropped, so I have some equity, but I need more than that to start my business."
"Don't get me wrong here, I like you. Loans aren't a popularity business. I cannot give you a loan as you have no collateral."
"What about my car?"
"Worthless."
"It's a 2004. Scion. I own it."
"Oh... well we could lend you twenty bucks till Wednesday."
"I must say this is disheartening."
"You could try private investment."
"It sounds like that's the only realistic option then."
"Unless you rob a bank."
"Um... isn't there a good way I could get a loan?"
"Yes... fix the economy, stupid."
"Excellent. Private investment it is then."
Scene.
So now that we have our funding, I would like to thank those who are willing to take a risk and bet on my business plan. As for the rest of you, you'll learn soon enough what it is that we're starting, and where and when and how you too can help us launch the good ship Cinema 16:9 LLC.
You want that I should hit you in the head with a bottle of champagne?
Now, it all comes back to the lease agreement. I think we're back on track for success! I can't wait to share the plans with you all!
Wait. Darn. It appears as though I've accidentally plagiarized the concept for this post. Darn it. What was I thinking. I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking "I'm being so original and creative," and then suddenly it occurs to me. The Moxie. Sorry Dan. I'm embarrassed and too lazy to delete what is otherwise a perfectly good post. I believe being too lazy to rewrite this post is actually in Dan's playbook (page 32). Upon re-reading Dan's "Financial Play", I begin to wonder... why do I have a blog in the first place? Am I just trying to live up to the Moxie's own exhibitionist exhibitioner?
Tune in again next week when we discover David's deep dark secret. Jennifer will tell Clarence what she really thinks, Nicole will tell Dan to take David out behind the shed for a beat down, Fred will call his lawyer and invite him to dinner, Judith will discover her love of singing, and Geraldine will save a bus-load of children from impending doom!
It's been a long, seemingly endless wait, but the funding is in. Okay, so now, we've got money, but for what? Well, we have a lease agreement to arrange and sign... that's really the next step.
And then?
Then we build.
Build what?
It.
What is "it?"
The thing I've been working on opening all this time. It's exciting, we've got the start-up capital, and investors who've committed funds. It was actually a tough process, though. Approaching a bank during this economy was the rather comical part. It went a little like this:
"Hello loan officer."
"Is it safe?"
"Um... yes, it's just me."
"No, but is it safe?"
"Yes, I'm just here to apply for a loan."
"Oh god, here we go again."
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing... I'd be happy to help you. Please tell me about your second home."
"I... I don't have a second home."
"Tell me about your house then, the one you own."
"Oh, well, I'm actually between ownerships at the moment."
"You're homeless?"
"No, I'm renting."
"And tell me about your multi-million dollar yacht."
"I don't have a multi-million dollar yacht."
"Okay, so tell me about your existing multi-million dollar corporation which has been profitable for two years."
"Um, I don't think you understand here... I'm looking for a loan. To start a small business. Is this the right office?"
"Yes, indeed, you've come to the small business loan office, and I am a small business loan officer. I help those in need obtain loans to start up their small business."
"Okay, I was getting confused with all the talk about the houses and yachts and existing corporations talk. I would like to obtain a loan to start my small business."
"Okay, let me review your situation: You neither have a second, nor a first home to offer as collateral, you are yachtless, and have not owned a successful business for which you are looking to get a loan for."
"That's right, and I sold my house, right before real estate prices dropped, so I have some equity, but I need more than that to start my business."
"Don't get me wrong here, I like you. Loans aren't a popularity business. I cannot give you a loan as you have no collateral."
"What about my car?"
"Worthless."
"It's a 2004. Scion. I own it."
"Oh... well we could lend you twenty bucks till Wednesday."
"I must say this is disheartening."
"You could try private investment."
"It sounds like that's the only realistic option then."
"Unless you rob a bank."
"Um... isn't there a good way I could get a loan?"
"Yes... fix the economy, stupid."
"Excellent. Private investment it is then."
Scene.
So now that we have our funding, I would like to thank those who are willing to take a risk and bet on my business plan. As for the rest of you, you'll learn soon enough what it is that we're starting, and where and when and how you too can help us launch the good ship Cinema 16:9 LLC.
You want that I should hit you in the head with a bottle of champagne?
Now, it all comes back to the lease agreement. I think we're back on track for success! I can't wait to share the plans with you all!
Wait. Darn. It appears as though I've accidentally plagiarized the concept for this post. Darn it. What was I thinking. I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking "I'm being so original and creative," and then suddenly it occurs to me. The Moxie. Sorry Dan. I'm embarrassed and too lazy to delete what is otherwise a perfectly good post. I believe being too lazy to rewrite this post is actually in Dan's playbook (page 32). Upon re-reading Dan's "Financial Play", I begin to wonder... why do I have a blog in the first place? Am I just trying to live up to the Moxie's own exhibitionist exhibitioner?
Tune in again next week when we discover David's deep dark secret. Jennifer will tell Clarence what she really thinks, Nicole will tell Dan to take David out behind the shed for a beat down, Fred will call his lawyer and invite him to dinner, Judith will discover her love of singing, and Geraldine will save a bus-load of children from impending doom!
